April

I’ve said before that I don’t want the blog to become just an extended whinging session. For one thing, it would annoy the hell out of me. For another, it would be a disservice to those of you who follow and read this.

But I’ve been trying to deal with a lot of negativity lately and I want to let some of it out. Can I do that without degenerating into whining?

When I say lately, I mean the past 2-3 weeks. And when I say negativity, I mean exhaustion, physically and mentally.

The main cause is my day job although I find myself wondering if there are other factors. I’ve been feeling over-loaded, trying to stay on top of things even when it seems like I can barely pause for breath. It wears me out, enough that even when I get away from the office, I barely have enough energy left to focus on things I want to do in my own time. So I stay up later, trying to give myself more time. I don’t get enough sleep and then I get to get up and do it all over again.

I have no desire to denigrate my workplace or the people there. I like what I do, and I’m pretty damn good at it. But I don’t know how long I can keep going the way I have been. I’ve got some time off coming up in a month and it can’t come quickly enough.

Two things bother me about this. It seems like I’ve made it through tougher times before without feeling like this. So why is it getting to me now? And, of course, all of this has had a detrimental effect on my writing.

I started out having a lot of hopes for April. But here we are, three quarters of the way through, and I feel like I haven’t accomplished anything.

I might have more to say about this later but for right now, I need to clear my head…

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